“It takes me ages to get up in the morning; I hit the snooze button at least 3 times most mornings. I feel exhausted and dread the day ahead. I am often late for work so I skip breakfast. I usually have a coffee at the office, then at 10am or so, I’ll have another coffee and a few cookies, just two or three. For lunch I’ll have a brown bread sandwich, and an apple. At about 4pm I’ll have another coffee and a couple of cookies. I usually finish at half 5. It takes me about 40 minutes to get home. By the time I arrive I’m so tired I drop my bag on the floor and curl up on the couch. I tell myself I should go out for a walk or something, but instead I’ll have a take away or some pasta and watch TV for the evening”.
That’s one way to kill oneself! Where’s the water, where’s the vegetables, where’s the protein, where’s the movement, where’s the life?
When the above quoted client came to me she was not only overweight, but looked like a zombie, and kind of behaved like one too. The living dead, that’s what I call people who just float about looking lost, with no sense of awareness or a pinch of life emanating from them.
To my surprise, she agreed when I tagged her as one of the living dead. I was disappointed as my aim was to really get to her.
“I do –she said – I feel dead inside. Why do I feel so shit?”
I love it when my clients swear. It means they are starting to get fed up. That’s a good thing!
After a few questions (my magic questions) all excuses exhausted, she finally stopped talking a lot of BS and started making some sense.
See, most people know what they are doing wrong; they’re just too deep in their own proverbial, well… shit, to admit it.
A lot of my clients at some stage or another of a consultation wait for me to come up with the long awaited miracle cure. The magical pill that’ll solve all their problems instantly. I know this by the look I get. It’s the “soooo…, go oooon…?” look.
If I told you what to do as soon as you walk out of my practice’s door everything would stay just the same, or worse. You don’t tell toddlers to just go pee in the toilet bowl and expect them to do it. You have to train them.
In a way, metaphorically speaking, I train adults not to wee their own pants.
See, what you need to do is to train your mind to begin to start to think more often and for longer periods of time; to actually use your brain for a change.
With this particular client, not only did she come up with a detailed plan, a step by step system on how to improve her situation and feel better about her life, but also she felt excited for the first time in years. She even came up with her own quote!
“It’s obvious – she said – if you behave like a slug, you’re gonna feel like a slug”.
This happened on her first session. I almost exploded with pride!
“Slugs actually eat vegetables” I said. We both burst out laughing.
During the following weeks, we worked together on re-training her brain to feel good more of the time so she started to get more stuff done. Things she actually wanted to do. The basics: get up feeling energised, have breakfast, get more done in work, eat healthily, drink water, workout three times a week…
Ten days after our first coaching session she’d lost 7 pounds, which she was shocked and delighted with. Now, she says she hasn’t felt this good in years and you can tell. You can tell by the sparkle in her eyes, the smile on her face, and the spring on her step. Last week she texted me from the fitting room in a clothes shop, where she was looking in the mirror in a fitted dress she had wanted to buy for months. “Thank you sooo much. It fits!!!!”
She’s officially not part of the living dead anymore. How about you?
Who better than world renowned Master Trainer of Neuro-linguistic Programming and personal mentor Owen Fitzpatrick to tell you how you can apply NLP in your personal life, and in business:
If you ever get the chance to be trained by Owen, take it!
In NLPModelling is like walking down the catwalk of the mind of the person who displays the results you want to get.
Imagine that you admired your best friend’s body shape and wanted to look like them. If you were out for lunch with them and they had a tuna salad, and you chose to have a tuna salad too, what would happen is that you’d probably get the results that eating a tuna salad tends to cause. So, you’d probably feel healthy, light and happy with yourself for having made a good decision and followed through.
However, if all you did is copy what you friend does when you are with them, that does not guarantee that you would get to look anything like them.
It would be useful to model what they do the rest of the time too. Not just outwardly, butinside their mind.
Your behaviour is determined by certain seemingly obvious strategies; things that are so ingrained in your subconscious that have become automatic habits. These are determined by your own personal beliefs about yourself and the world, certain mind strategies and emotions.
Think about brushing your teeth. If I asked you how do you know it’s time to brush your teeth, or what’s the first thing you do, and the next thing, and the last thing… you’d probably think I am crazy.
However, if you have pearly white teeth and you tell me it’s because you brush them three times a day, I’m gonna want to know your strategy for pearly white teeth: What do you brush them with, when do you brush them, why do you brush them, how do you make sure you brush them all the time, what happens if you miss a brush?
Does this make sense?
This process allows you to look at yourself and the world through someone else’s lenses, and slip into someone else’s shoes. And it can help you get what you want faster and more effortlessly than if you were to just copy or guess what someone else does.
Some magazines publish the diets and exercise programs of celebrities. Accompanied by an airbrushed photo of the celebrity looking amazing in their bikini, this can have a huge impact on easily impressionable readers.
It’s easy to think that if you eat exactly that and follow that exact exercise routine, then you’ll get to look like that.
However, if it was that simple, we would all look like models, right?
This is why when it comes to modelling someone whose shape, size or fitness abilities you admire, you want to make sure it’s someone who is worth modelling and something that is worth modelling too.
And that you do this knowing that you are unique and therefore you are working towards becoming a better version of yourself, not someone else.
So, when you get the chance to talk to someone you want to model, use these questions to elicit some of the strategies that will allow you to get what you want more quickly.
1/ Why do you do what you do?
For example, some people eat healthy and exercise because they want feel great and look slim and fit. Others do it because they don’t want to feel bad or look fat and unhealthy. Their motivation strategy might be different to yours.
2/ What has to be present when you do that?
People who enjoy exercising and who push themselves are running certain movies in their minds that crank up certain emotions, such as determination, motivation, energy, strength, playfulness… it’s easier to do what you need to do when you are in the right mindset. How do they get into this mindset? What do they do first, and then… and lastly?
3/ What do you do when things don’t go according to plan?
Do they have a back up plan, do they improvise, do they tell themselves “feck it” and do what they do anyway?
Modelling is not about copying, is about eliciting certain strategies that can be useful for you to start to practice them too and notice what happens!
Here’s a short excerpt of Richard Bandler talking about modelling:
Anna Aparicio is an Accredited IINLP/Hypnosis Mind Coach based in Dublin, Ireland.
She uses Neuro-linguistic Programming, Hypnosis and other psychology tools to develop profound and lasting changes in your life.
As a former fitness trainer and nutrition expert, she specialises in: weight loss, fitness goals achievement, eliminating cravings and overeating, performance enhancement, and boosting confidence and motivation.
Anna has featured on RTE’s The Afternoon Show as The Confidence Coach, and is highly recommended by The Irish Institute of NLP.
To this day whenever someone asks me what I do for a living and I mention the words life and coach, I still get a lot of “Huh?”s.
Even though Life Coaching has been big for the past two decades in the US, and has quickly caught up in the UK, it is still relatively new in Ireland, and sometimes talked about with skepticism.
Kept a secret for a long time, recently many high flying business people, actors and celebrities attribute their confidence and career success to hiring a Life Coach.
Lady Victoria Hervey has said of his Life Coach Burrel Wilks that “his job was to get me focused on what I need to do, and he’s done exactly that”.
Spiderman 3 actress Bryce Dallas credits her Life Coach Sherri Ziff Lester with helping her cope with the demands of show business, enabling her to better prioritise her time and stay in control during press interviews.
Singer Kelly Rowland says that her coach helped her curb her addiction to chocolate and describes him as “her secret weapon”.
Hiring a Life Coach is not just for celebs any more. What we once thought of as a luxury, has now become a necessity for many people. It helps them cope better in today’s rapidly changing society.
Essentially, life coaching helps you live life on your own terms, enhance the quality of your life, and shape and achieve your personal goals. These could be career, health and fitness, relationship or personal development goals.
Some describe it as a Bootcamp for your brain! No army style shouting involved…
We use Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Hypnosis and other mind technologies that can have massive transformative effect.
This type of coaching can help people quit smoking, lose weight, boost confidence and motivation, eliminate phobias… and other issues that may have been holding you back in life.
When hiring your Life Coach, it’s vital to search for a qualified and accredited coach.
In Ireland, The Irish Institute of NLP produces the best quality NLP Coaches.
In order to find a suitable coach for you, word of mouth and relying on your own judgement are likely to find you a suitable coach.
However, make sure you talk to them in person or over the phone first, so you get answers to any questions you may have before committing to anything.
This way you’ll also get an idea of their personality and if you are suitable for each other. And you should also ask for references and testimonials from previous clients.
Mary, a client, came to me because she couldn’t bear to get up in the mornings. She was feeling lethargic, confused about life and lacking motivation.
After our first session, she left with a spring on her step, a sparkle in her eyes, and ready to take on anything!
“Is it possible to feel this excited after just one session?” she asked, surprised.
With a cocktail of a burning desire for change, and the adequate mental preparation, change can really happen in an instant!
Here’s a video of Dr. Richard Bandler, co-creator of NLP and personal mentor, talking about Neuro Linguistic Programming and how it can help you massively improve any aspect of your life, quickly and effectively.
Feel free to post any comments or questions you may have, and I will personally answer every one of them.
“In order to change you must be sick and tired of being sick and tired”
Over the years I’ve read thousands of books and attended countless seminars on subjects such as goal setting, success, achievement, happiness…you mention it, I have done it!
I learnt a lot. I mean, I memorised the stuff, but never really put it into practice.
I used to wonder why after so many hours studying, so much knowledge, I wasn’t making things happen in my life.
The truth was, I was not able to achieve anything because back then I thought I wasn’t an “achiever”. I thought certain people are the type of people who accomplish a lot in life, and that I was not that type of person.
To support that belief, all I was really doing was daydream now and again about certain things I thought would be nice to have in my life. But I wasn’t doing anything to get those things.
And as my dear mum says: dreaming nice things is great, but only while your asleep.
While awake, you must do more than daydream.
The thing is, deep inside, I used to think that the things I wanted were unattainable for me. That they were ok for other people to have, but that they weren’t really for me.
Part of the excuse why I didn’t take action was my childhood programming. Part of it was pure laziness. I was too comfortable for my own good.
I had learnt that your beliefs about yourself and the world determine your behaviour, and consequently the results you get in life.
But I didn’t really know what this really meant, or how it applied to me.
I didn’t even know that limiting beliefs can be shed, just like snake skin, and that you can adopt new more useful ones, that will allow you to move forward swiftly, and live the life you really want to live.
It was only when I discovered nlp and hypnosis that I learnt how you can do this really quickly.
From personal experience, and from coaching clients, I now know that in order to speed up this process, it helps that you are really fed up. That you have just had enough of your present situation. And that change is the only way forward for you.
You have to want something so badly, that the thought of not having it doesn’t even cross your mind. And if it ever does, it totally and utterly repulses you to the point that you will do anything, whatever it takes, to get what you want.
Think about this for a second…
Most people who seem to naturally lead a healthy lifestyle will tell you things like: ”It’s part of who I am”, “I couldn’t live any other way”, or “There’s no way I’d ever eat that/do that”…
This is because when you have made the decision that this is the type of person you really are, you get so much pleasure out of everything it involves, that the thought of not being healthy is just unfathomable.
This is the way I think now. Things that in the past used to be a chore, are now an intrinsic part of my everyday life.
I do them naturally and almost unconsciously, because I reprogrammed my mind so I could be the person I wanted to be.
Making decisions around food are not a struggle, but very quickly and easily made.
I don’t force myself to exercise. I look forward to it.
I am not a slave to the scales. And I don’t waste any time and energy feeling guilty, bad, or focusing on what I don’t like about myself, or what I don’t want.
Because that is not how a truly healthy and fit person behaves.
If you too want to make some big lasting changes, then you have to stop wishing, hoping, daydreaming you were slimmer, healthier, fitter…
You have to believe you already are those things with every single cell in your body, from the very core of your being.
Believe in your mind, and your body will follow.
It’s not about forcing yourself to believe though. It’s about reprogramming your mind so you can become the person you want to be.
Do this and you’ll be supersonically accelerating the process of looking the way you want to look, and feeling the way you want to feel.
Rumour has it that artist Lily Allen uses hypnosis to get into shape.
There is no denying she has been sporting a smaller and more toned figure lately, and it doesn’t surprise me at all to see it has worked wonders for her.
In fact, even thought they like to keep it hush-hush, many celebrities use hypnosis to lose weight, tone up and get healthy.
Why would these people, who already have personal trainers, nutritionists, and personal chefs, resort to hypnosis?
I’ll tell you why. It works. It works fast and extremely effectively.
But if you think you are going to be able to eat what you want, sit on your backside, and get results, you are mistaken.
And anyone who tells you that is blatantly lying to you.
Celebs like Lily work their butts of to look the way they do.
They may have fitness trainers, but the trainers don’t workout for them.
If you want to lose weight, tone up, and get to your ideal shape, there are certain things you are going to have to start doing.
Hypnosis can help you reprogram your mind so doing what is necessary becomes natural and enjoyable.
My clients say things like, “I don’t know why but I’m actually really enjoying eating healthy stuff all the time” and “I don’t crave sweets anymore, and even if I want to eat something like chocolate, I feel repulsed by it”.
Even people who weren’t big fans of exercise before, find themselves doing it more often and more effortlessly.
Some of my clients have gone from couch potatoes to fitness fanatics in a matter of weeks!
Even I, as their coach, have been often shocked by the amazing transformations we have achieved with just a few sessions.
Now, I am not saying you too are going to, all of a sudden, join a gym and spend endless hours pumping iron.
If you ‘ve been reading my posts, then you know it takes less time and effort than most people think.
Using hypnosis and NLP, I help people adopt more useful beliefs about health, food and exercise.
I get them to think of themselves differently, in a way that supports their objective, and makes it easier and quicker to achieve. I also walk them through the process of a well formed health and fitness goal.
I educate them, reprogram their mind, and get them so fired up that they just can’t wait to get started achieving their goals.
A good bunch of my clients have gone on to run marathons, compete in triathlons, and even enroll on fitness courses!
In fact, even fitness trainers come to me for some serious reprogramming. Imagine that!
You can have it when you get yourself in the right mindset, identify the skills you need to make it happen, and take consistent and focused action.
How can you do this? Well, here how you can get started…
Take a couple of minutes to write down all the negative things you usually tell yourself that have been keeping you from taking action in a particular area. Then turn this into more useful beliefs.
For example: Getting a new job
Negative beliefs
Useful beliefs
– I am not good enough at public speaking
- I am not a good sales person
- I am not qualified enough for the job
- I am not confident enough for the interview
– I can become better at public speaking by…
- I can become a better sales person by…
– I can be more qualified for the job by…
– I can be more confident at the interview by…
The endings you choose for your “useful beliefs” statements, will give you an idea of the skills you need to get better at.
Your objectives will seem more real and achievable once you have identified what it is that you need to improve.
This is why the best investment you will make this year is in improvingYourself; getting the necessary skills for you to achieve your goals more quickly and effortlessly.
Nothing will ever be as rewarding, long-lasting and good value for money. Talk about bargains!
One of my clients was made redundant from her job this year and came to me for help.
We discussed a number of ideas, all of which she turned down. She said she was too old to start over. She is in her early sixties.
So we googled away, and this is a shortened list of what we found out:
Verdi composed his Ave Maria at age 85.
Harlan Sanders started Kentucky Fried Chicken at 65.
Ronald Reagan didn’t get into politics until he was 55.
Laura Ingalls Wilder (author of Little House on the Prairie) published her first book in her 60s.
Rodney Dangerfield didn’t start doing comedy until he was 45.
Cezanne’s most highly prized paintings were done in his 60s.
Alfred Hitchcock’s best films, including Vertigo and Psycho, were done in his late 50s and early 60s.
Not only was she shocked, but she was also deeply inspired.
After this, we worked together on turning her excuses into reasons why she wanted to start over doing something she loved.
Then we identified the skills she needed to acquire in order to do this, and we put together an action plan that worked for her.
She took action straight away, and to this day she emails me telling me how she feels happier and more accomplished than ever.
See, when it comes to personal accomplishment, as George Washington once said, ninety-nine per cent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.
So, remember, if you have things you want to achieve in the new year, quit making excuses and avail of the best special offer ever:The opportunity toimprove yourself and the quality of your life.
More and more people are hiring a Life Coach, like me, to help them improve different aspects of their lives. Whether you want a more successful career, better relationships, a fitter body… finding the right mentor can help you get what you want and even exceed your expectations.
After years of experience and many success stories, here is what I, personally, recommend you look for in your coach so you can get the most out of the experience:
1- Look for a certified and accredited coach.
While I don’t have my certificates on display in my office, I do show my accreditation logo on my website, and you can refer to The Irish Institute of NLP “NLP Coaches” section, where you will find me listed.
However, it is important you note that a certificate does not automatically make someone a good coach. And in all my years as a coach not one of my clients has ever asked me to show them my certs.
2 -Experience counts, and results count more.
Look for real testimonials and success stories. Thanks to mine, most of my clients come to me referred by current or past clients who have achieved results that surpassed their expectations.
3 -Talk to your potential coach before you make an appointment.
And I don’t mean by email. Before I make an appointment with you I will call you and spend a good twenty minutes finding out if you are right for me, and also if I am right for you.
Because I only take a limited amount of new clients every month, this screening process allows me to know if we connect as people, and also if you have the right attitude and are ready to do what it takes in order to get the results you want.
I assure you any questions you may have will be answered before you decide to book your coaching programme.
4 – Although life coaching can help you in a variety of areas in your life, most coaches have a specialty.
For instance, I can coach you in areas such as: time management, confidence, motivation, business goals, smoking cessation, fear and phobias, etc…
And due to my background in the Health & Fitness industry, I am passionate about helping you get healthier and fitter. So, I my specialty is stress management, weight loss goals, motivation, and craving busting.
My mission is to help you achieve your goals in these areas in record time.
5 -Your coach should walk the talk.
You coach should ont only be super passionate about helping you, but also walk the talk!
One of the main keys to my success as a coach is that I practice what I preach. And I am committed to constantly improving my skills so I can provide you with the most up to date and effective nlp and life improvement tools so you can get even better results, faster.
Would you hire a personal trainer who looked less than amazing? I know I wouldn’t… So, whatever you coach’s specialty is, look for evidence.
6 – Find out what your coaching programme involves before you make your decision.
Cheaper does not equal better, and vice versa. However, make sure you find out what you are going to get for your money before you commit.
In my case, although I do offer individual coaching sessions, my most popular package is my 4 session coaching programme. This involves 4 one and a half hour-long sessions, unlimited email support, access to my Delite Blog, free reports and articles, and discounts on a variety of things, such as future coaching sessions, products, seminars, webinars, etc…
What is getting what you want worth to you?
7 -Nice does not necessarily equal good.
One of my clients once said to me “You are not nice, but you are good!”.
I take this as a compliment. Even though I actually happen to be a nice person, my main objective is to help you get what you want, at all costs.
This means you may be challenged and may have to get out of your comfort zone. Sometimes it means tears, sometimes it means laughter… ultimately, it means you get what you want.
I hope these tips help and as always, your comments are more than welcome!
Rumour has it that artist Lily Allen uses hypnosis to get into shape.
