At an interview, “Avatar” director James Cameron said that if it took this movie to make people realise that we are all connected, to earth and to each other, then he’s glad he made it.

During a life coaching session with one of my clients, I mentioned this, and I was shocked to hear her say that she didn’t know the movie had a message.

“If we are all connected, why is it so hard to connect?” she asked me.

This client came to me with confidence issues that were keeping her isolated. When she first came to me, she could barely look at me in the eye, she had no social skills and no friends.

I asked her to imagine a room full of people who were her brothers and sisters. I had her imagine that they were all more uncomfortable and nervous than she was. I told her her job was to walk up to three people and make sure that they were ok, that they were at ease and having a good time.

“When you put it like that, it’s easy” she said “they are my brothers and sisters, right?”

“Right” I said.

Now, while she is not looking for romantic love, she is looking for the love of a friend. Lots of friends.

However, if you are looking for a relationship, and lack of confidence is getting in the way, think about this…

Clean shoes, shiny hair, a nice body, good fashion sense, a job, a sense of humour… all of this is important, don’t get me wrong.

Unfortunately, we live in a materialistic society, and things mean a lot to us.

Looks are important, presenting the best version of yourself is important, first impressions do count … but unless you can make someone feel good, you are doomed.

It’s simple. If you can make someone feel good they are going to want to spend more time with you.

And in order to make someone feel good, you need to get out of your head and focus on them.

It’s easy to get uncomfortable, nervous and insecure when you are talking to yourself in your head.

And while you are talking to yourself in your head, you are not paying attention to the person that could potentially be the love of your life.

So, instead of focusing on how you can make them like you, focus on making them feel at ease and smile and make sure they’re having a good time.

Another client of mine followed my secrets to attracting the opposite sex.

I asked him to put some strategies into practice at the weekend. On Monday morning he called me and told me he’d met this girl who told him he was the most interesting person she had ever met!

I asked him what he did.

He said, “What you told me to. She has a very exciting life so I asked her a whole lot of questions about it as I was curious. She talked and talked. I listened and listened. I am seeing her again this week!”

If you want to make the right impression, there is nothing more impressive than someone who is genuinely interested in you and your life, right?
Makes you feel good and tingly inside.

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