6 Ways To Get What You Want

Click here to subscribe to my mailing list

I recently worked with a client who’s self-confidence had been knocked off a bit in work. She complained that when in the office, she’d say something that seemed pretty clear and direct to her, but some of her colleagues just didn’t seem to hear, or get it, or do what she asked of them.

She also said that sometimes she found herself repeating the same request over and over again and getting nowhere with it. This had been a source of major frustration for her. She started to question her abilities and even her suitability for the position. She’d been trying hard to put a remedy to this, but the harder she tried the more frustrated, insecure and stressed out she got.

But what could she do?

What can you do to be more influential in the work place and at home?

Click here to get more cool tips and strategies like this

When it comes to getting people to do what we ask of them, sometimes we lose our rag and end up in full on discussions and arguments that only make things worse. We lose it because we sense that either they don’t respect us, or they’re mocking us, or they’re just taking the piss… and this might well be the case sometimes. But a lot of the time it boils down to the quality of our own communication skills.

If you want to get your own way more of the time, as with many things in life, less is more. The old principle K.I.S.S (keep it simple stupid) comes to mind here. Believe it or not, the more words you use the less impact your request has on the other person.  Here are 6 simple tips on how to use words to have a big impact and influence the response you get:

1# BE POSITIVE: Make sure you make a positive request.  “Don’t do that” only tells someone what not to do. Instead, you want to tell them precisely what to do.  So, instead of saying “don’t eat at the desk” say “eat at the canteen”.

2# USE ONLY: Add some more weight to this by adding ‘only’ and by using the person’s name first. For example: Mary (wait until the person notices you and the form) only fill out this form.

3# THE MAGIC WORD: Place the word “please” at the end of the sentence, not at the beginning. This means you’ll remain polite without pleading. For example: Mary  (wait a second) only sit on the chair please.

4# TY THEM: Immediately add “thank you” to your request. This presupposes that the person has already complied with your request. For example: Mary (wait) only sit on the chair please, thank you.

5# GET DOWN ON IT: Use a downward inflection on the words “please” and “thank you”. This turns your request into a polite command and indicates that the matter is not open to discussion.

6# KEEP IT SLEEK: Avoid any preambles or explanations. Given your request is reasonable, most people will know what they are supposed to be doing. If you’re asked why, offer a simple and straight forward explanation such as “because canteens are for eating and desks are for working”.

You might be thinking that these tips seem a bit too simple and easy. And to that I say, not everything in life has to be complicated, and it’s often the simplest things that bring about the best results!

I had the client I mention above and many others use these very same tips in work and at home, and all of them have reported great great improvements. Many people find they save a lot of time and energy, because they realize they no longer have to debate or  discuss things endlessly. They don’t have to waste time repeating things over and over again. They also remain calmer, and this makes a big difference to the way they communicate with others.

These tips will work with work colleagues, your partner, family and friends, and anyone you wish to impact and influence effectively and ethically too please. But don’t just take my word for it, go try it out for yourself!

Click here to get more cool tips and strategies like this

Speak Your Mind