How To Stay Single Forever, Or Worse

Lonely, like a single mushroom on a field

And what’s worse than being single forever, you ask? Ending up with the wrong person.

They say life is short, but spent with the wrong person, it can feel damn long!

Unfortunately, according to the latest divorce statistics, it seems a whole lot of us choose the wrong life partner.

Whilst I don’t claim to a be a relationship expert, what I am is an expert at making bad relationships choices. That was until I met my now hubby of almost 5 years who happens to be an amazing man. To this day I give kudos to myself for doing what needed to be done in order to bag a man like him.

Relationships are hard. Marriage is a lot of work, even when you get to marry a soul mate.

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Of course you can take my advice or leave it, but here’s a few things I recommend you DON’T do, or you might stay single for ever, or worse:

1# Don’t Be Someone Else: And by someone else I mean not the real you. We all pimp ourselves up a little to feel better about ourselves and appeal to the opposite sex. One thing is emphasizing your assets and another thing is changing the essence of who you are. If you’re a woman, you don’t need  to extend your hair, put on fake eyelashes, stick on nails, a mahogany tan, and fifty shades of highlighting make up to attract a man. Leave that to Kim K! You also don’t need to make up a story about how much you like rugby and contact sports when in fact they bore you to death. This will not prevent you from attracting a man, but it will prevent you from attracting the right man. So, above all, be yourself at all times.

2# Don’t Be A Mum: Being a mummy is not going to prevent you from attracting the right man, acting like his mum will. Look, we women are carers. We’re trained to be nurturing and mother-like from the instant we get our first doll, or in my case my first Lego pirate boat. But do not treat a man like a child. He’ll love some of it, who doesn’t like having someone take care of us. But if you do too much there’s a risk he’ll start to feel incompetent and start to resent you for it. Men – in general – like to feel like we need them in our lives. Let him drive, get lost and find his way on a map as opposed to asking for directions. Let him choose his own food at a restaurant and load the dishwasher his own way. He’s trying to help! Stop behaving like his mum and start behaving like his woman.

3# Don’t Wait Around: Sitting around day after day, night after night, waiting for your prince or princess charming to knock on your door? Keep waiting! But the rule book says women can’t chase men and it’s the man who’s got to chase the woman? What a load of bulls**t! According to my single coaching clients it’s tougher than ever to meet people. If you stay at home watching Eastenders, automatically it becomes much tougher to meet people, real people. If you fancy staying single for a long time don’t get out there and join a salsa class, a running club, or a Japanese cookery lesson. If you see a man that tickles your fancy, don’t smile at him, don’t approach him and talk to him, and whatever you do, do not ask him out for a drink. But you’re too shy and nervous? So is he! I’ve lost count of the amount of times male clients have told me they’d love to be asked out by a woman for a change. If you want it, go and get it.

4# Don’t Be A Bore: We love excitement. Guys love adventure. They love a task, a job, a mission. But you hate playing games? You just want to know where you stand from the very beginning? You can’t, in fact, you shouldn’t. The dating phase of a relationship is as exciting as it gets. You want to mess it all up and drive him away? Call him more than he calls you. Reply to his texts instantly. Don’t date anyone else but him. Give up your hobbies and going out with your girlfriends and boyfriends. Sleep with him before you become exclusive. Don’t be adventurous at all, rush the dating process and put pressure on him because you just want to get married and have a family. That won’t drive him away – note the sarcasm. A lot of men also want to get married and have children, just let them have some fun first.

5# Don’t Be Desperate And Needy: Do you think of every man you meet as “the one” and then feel sorely disappointed when he lets you down? Sorry to say this but you might be too desperate. Bad boys and scrubs are attracted to neediness like a bee to honey. Why? Because it’s an easy target and they can get everything they need from it. Tell him you haven’t been in a relationship for years, share with him that you haven’t dated for a long time or that you’ve been played many times… and expect him to play you or run faster than you can blink! Go out there feeling less than a Goddess and pay the price. By all means be super excited about him and talk about how wonderful he is with your friends, but never let him know or think he’s the only good thing you’ve got going on in your life. Nothing is less attractive than that.

What are men most attracted to in a woman..? More on that later, but what do you think it is? Post your comment below 😆

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Comments

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    […] This little post was inspired by a post i saw on my twitter feed the other day from a dublin life caoch who looks after single ladies (original post can be found HERE). […]

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