If self doubt and fear keeping you from doing the things you want to do in life,
If you have dreams, goals and expectations for yourself,
If you sometimes get frustrated and mad at yourself because you are not doing anything to make these things happen…
You are not alone, and the good news is that there is something you can do about it.
Remember when you were a kid and and someone asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up?
A fire fighter, a movie star, Indiana Jones, a Lego man… yes, and I bet you didn’t flinch for a second or thought is this actually going to be possible at all, or how am I going to do this, or I am just not good enough to be a Lego man!
You believed anything is possible.
Your mind was working effectively: You want, you imagine, you go get it.
When I ask them what’s stopping them from looking and feeling the way they want, the answer is usually: I don’t know, or I don’t think I can do it, or what if I fail?
Human self doubt and fear fascinates me. I say human because sometimes I can’t help comparing us to the animal kingdom.
Let me explain… African lions must hunt daily to survive. Actually, this seems to be the lionesses’ task and often they’ll hunt together. They’ll go somewhere where they know their prey is likely to hang out. Usually close to water.
How do I know this? Thanks to David, Attenborough!
The lionesses see their prey, devise a strategy, take action. They chase the prey until they make the kill, or the animal manages to get away.
If they succeed, great! If the prey gets away, what do they do?
Do they spend hours on end feeling bad about themselves for having failed?
Do they decide there is no point in trying to hunt again in case they fail?
Do they give up hunting altogether as it seems they are no good at it cos they failed before?
No, they don’t. They look for the next opportunity.
Once I gave a client this example and he said: how can you compare, if lions stop hunting they’ll die and just get extinct.
To which I replied: Well, in my view, if you are not hunting for the things you want in your life, then you are not really living anyway.
If you spend your life wishing things were different, while doing nothing to change your situation…
If all you do is feel bad about the fact you are not doing anything, doubting your ability to do what you were born to do, fearing failure…
If you are not at least trying to live the life you want… are you really alive?
A good friend once shyly confided in me that they could not ride a bike without stabilisers.
I know a lot of people who can’t but they are all under ten years of age. My friend is twenty two.
I asked how come he couldn’t ride a bike without stabilisers. I knew my friend had been badly bullied as a child and I assumed maybe that had something to do with it. He said not at all.
I asked if it his parents hadn’t taught him. He said they had certainly tried.
Then I got really curious and asked: What happened then?
He replied: I guess I one day I just told myself I couldn’t do it… and so, I didn’t do it.
There’s no way a lion would ever give up that easily…
What is the main difference between you and that person who is living the life you would love to live, doing the things you want to do? Is it to do with talent, knowledge, experience, social status, money…?
Is it possible that they also doubt their ability sometimes, that they make mistakes, that they have ups and downs?
I believe author Susan Jeffers hit the nail in the head when she wrote: Feel the fear and do it anyway.
You see, someone who is doing the things you would like to do, and living the kind of life you would like to live, may be fearful sometimes too, and go for it anyway!
Live your life like a lion,