Whether they are health and fitness goals, career related, personal, spiritual… and even though you may have a partner, or a loving family and great friends, do you ever feel like it’s just you in the thick of it all, struggling to make things work?
In my career as a coach, I’ve discovered one thing: we like to keep things to ourselves.
I say we, as in us humans. Most people I coach have dreams and aspirations, goals and objectives, yet never share them with anyone else.
To this day I haven’t quite figured out why; maybe it’s fear of failure, or fear of what other people will think of us, maybe we fear that they won’t be happy for us and supportive of us, maybe it’s just so that we can give up when things get tough…
Whatever the reason is, I believe keeping shtum may be keeping you from achieving your goals in life.
Think about this, we live in a society for a reason, and it’s this very reason that has allowed us to survive and thrive as a species, to rapidly evolve and achieve a million things that once seemed impossible. The reason we live in groups, as opposed to alone, is so that we can help and support each other.
And if you are not sharing your dreams and goals with the people around you, you are missing out big time. Because if you want to make sure that you get what you want in life, talking about it will help you:
With an average of 60,ooo thousand thoughts a day, expecting our brains to file good from bad, clever from nonsense… is not a good idea, and it’s just not going to happen. There is far too much information hitting our brains daily, and unless we learn to administer it appropriately, it can bring us to the city of chaos, which is where a lot of people live.
Talking about our dreams and goals helps sort out our thoughts; it helps clarify things. Thoughts feel different when they are inside our brain than when they’ve come out of our mouth. When I coach people, they often tell me that just talking about their concerns makes them feel better. This is no coincidence. Some people get very emotional talking about what’s important to them too. This is what happens when we let it all out; out come emotions of all sorts that we can turn into more useful feelings to have, such as confidence, courage, determination, motivation… feelings that will help drive us forward closer to our objectives.
A thought is just a thought. How do you know a goal from a fleeting thought? I sometimes think about how nice it would be to live in Hawaii. I get lost in the thought of how amazing it would be, with the palm trees, the beaches and the laidback lifestyle… it feels so good… but that doesn’t mean I’ll end up living in Hawaii. I’ve never turned that thought into an actual goal.
If there are things you really want to accomplish, you need to own those thoughts and turn them into what I call Well Formed Outcomes, you need to weigh the pros and cons, you need to devise a plan of action, you need to put it out to the universe and everyone you know that you will make this happen. The question is not if, but when, because you’ve finally committed. When you fully commit to something, and show, not just think it but show it, that you are ready to do what it takes to make it happen, then the universe will start to work in your favour, and amazing things will start to happen in your life.
SHARE THE LOAD
Whoever came up with the saying “a load shared is a load halved” wasn’t just messing about. Keeping things all to ourselves is never a good idea. Because inside our minds, what most of us tend to do is accentuate the negatives, and minimise the positives. This is rarely based upon logic thinking, and it doesn’t help things either.
But talking about your plans with family and friends can help you put things into perspective; identify key factors you may have not previously thought of. Their input may help you work out a more realistic set of pros and cons. A different perspective, especially if it comes from someone who’s been there before, has the knowledge you need, and your best interest at heart, can make all the difference.
GET THE SUPPORT YOU NEED
Since I created my Top Secret Woman On Top Facebook Group, I’ve had so many women email me telling me how much they’re enjoying being part of the group, how much they are learning, how much the support of other women means to them, how much easier they are finding it to stay on track with health & fitness goals, and other… I didn’t create this group for no reason at all.
Many years of coaching clients has taught me that one of the key factors in success in any area of life is having a support network. Having the support of family, friends, colleagues… is invaluable. Unfortunately, we can’t always count on it. But what if you were part of a group where everyone is on the same wavelength, where everyone has everyone’s best interest at heart, for no reason other than because we care, where everyone can freely speak their concerns and fears without being judged, where everyone gets the unconditional support and friendship of other likeminded people?
Imagine a place you can go and be yourself, open up your heart, let it all out, take what you need to achieve your goals and improve your life, and give a little back. Let’s talk about it!