HONESTY: Always The Best Policy?

Liar, liar...

Not so long ago, while at dinner with friends, someone started a conversation about health and fitness. Nothing serious, just discussing people’s nutritional habits… when someone had to come out with the infamous “it’s all about eating a balanced diet”. I couldn’t help myself: “sure it is” I blurted “but somehow it’s usually fat people who say that. It’s not about eating a balanced diet, it’s about eating the right foods”. Needless to say, my seemingly impulsive comment caused a bit of a shock, to say the least. This tends to happen with me by the way…

“Are you always this blunt Anna?” I heard from across the table.

“What do you mean?” I said.

To which I got: “Are you always this honest?”

Firstly, when you think about it, the fact that I was asked “are you always this honest?” kind of presupposes that they agree with my statement. And yes, I tend to be that honest, often to my own disadvantage. But someone’s got to be.

As far as I’m concerned there are too many people out there lying their way through life, lying to themselves, or pussy footing around other people, just to be liked. It seems to be ok to lie for the purpose of being accepted. It seems it’s better to say what others want to hear than what you really want to say. Apparently it’s more human. And god forbid we hurt other people’s feelings…

I also consider withholding important information, or keeping secrets as lying, by the way…

For as long as I can remember I’ve had it all very clear when it comes to lies. In my ever so humble opinion,  and this  whole post is just my opinion, it’s never ok to lie.

See, if you tell a big lie, it’ll catch up with you sooner or later. And then there is the fact that you have to live with it, weighing on your conscience, like a ton of bricks, every day of your life. And if we are talking about a lil’ white lie, then why bother at all. It’s just too much effort!

Throughout my life, I’ve always been hurt much more by the lies I’ve been told, which I sooner or later found out about, than by the truths I’ve been told. And I’ve been told a few too!

My own mum is an absolute pro at telling you exactly what she thinks, be it good or bad. In my early teens I was fat, not obese, but a couple of five kilos overweight. They call it puppy fat… I call it doughnut fat.

Anyway, “you’re fat” she used to tell me. Then she’d gather her friends in a circle around me and pulling at my clothes she’d add “you need to lose weight, you need to eat less”.

In my late teens I was a skinny wreck, and she made sure I knew. “Eat more, for goodness sakes, you’re a skinny wreck!”  Some people today would consider these comments bullying. As the receiver, it definitely wasn’t nice to hear them, but they were the honest truth.

See, I think that when you are told the truth, about whatever, whether more or less harsh, at least you are given the chance to do something about certain things.

If you are in a relationship, for example, and your partner cheats on you, would you prefer to know, or would you rather remain ignorant? Or, if it was you who cheated, would you stay shtum or would you come clean?

If someone hurts you, do you tell them they hurt you, or do you suffer in silence? Your answer would say a lot about who you are.

What if you are not happy with your weight, size or shape, do you choose to put it all at the  back of your mind while sitting on your couch eating cake, or do you own up and go do something about it?

Are you honest with yourself about things, or do you evade, ignore or hide behind your truths?

I believe honesty starts with oneself, and that it is always the best option. It is all in your intention and how you say things. Even though I may not seem the most tactful person sometimes, and I do put my foot in it at times, my intention is always pure hearted.

Anna

anna@delite.ie

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